Silver Slippers.

Be shocked or something. I'm not listening to music at this very second. I am slowly enjoying my hot chai and preparing for bed, so, I'm going to write a little anecdote about this pair of shoes that were once mine.


I had this pair of shoes, simple flats that were silver. They weren't like a plain grey with no dimension to them, they were metallic and a legitimate silver. I don't really like flats, but, I kind of had an attraction to them because they weren't so serious, but formal enough to wear out when I had to dress all fancy like. I had them only for a year and I didn't really get that much use out of them.


My Ma Ma died on April 25th, 2007. I found out when I got home from school and I cried incredibly hard. It was my first experience with death and quite frankly, my sixth grade year old mind didn't know how to handle something like that. As my mother explains it, "It's a strange thing because one day they're here and then the next they're not.".


Her funeral was a formal thing, I suppose. I was forced to wear the silver flats to it and I spent most of my time staring at them. It was an open casket, and I couldn't bring myself to look up. She was my caregiver for the first three years of my life and although she could hardly speak English, I've never felt so attached to someone in my life. I managed not to cry throughout the whole service until my dad told me to say my last goodbyes. Then, I lost it. 


My Ye Ye died nearly a week later. I had to wear the shoes again. 


After the two funeral services, I wasn't able to wear those shoes again. They sat in my closet and collected dust. I couldn't look at them without becoming incredibly sad. If asked to wear them again, I fight against it. I can't wear them ever. Not only because they no longer fit me anymore, but, just wearing them makes me depressed. I miss them more than anything.


My mother has passed them down to my sister. They were sitting by our piano and it prompted me to write this story. 


I don't want her to throw them out, but, I know she will. She will because my sister will eventually grow out of them. More than likely, they will be passed on to my cousin Katie and then her cousin Jennifer. Then, they will be thrown out. I can't let that happen.

Day 28: Something that you miss:


Being mentally sane and not having to worry about everything. I can't wait until college.