Sunday, October 23, 2011
You might think you've picked the scene, you haven't.
CAN WE GET MUCH HIGHERRRRRR, SO HIGHHHHH.
I think I'm still defrosting from last night's competition in Mineola. I know it wasn't a smart idea to wear shorts, but I just don't like feeling constrained at all. Jeans underneath the suspenders is really the weirdest and worst feeling ever. Another weird thing about me is that even though I insist on wearing tight clothing, I hate feeling trapped. I need to feel like I can escape whenever my instinct tells me to. (Apparently it's a very Gemini thing to always have the ability to move away whenever possible).
Hence why the car my cousin is passing down to me is going to be wonderful. I say a lot of stupid shit when I'm pressed and furious (because honestly, there's no middle ground between slight irritation and fury for me) and being able to escape is going to be really nice to have. Walking's cool, but I really can't stand the attention I drag when I do go walking.
Like, I was walking home with Michael from 7th Street because I had to go learn where everything in his house was for Rocky. We were on my block and right before Clinton, a chain of cars drove past and they honked and they slowed and it's just really fucking annoying. They usually won't do that if I'm with someone - or a guy for that matter - but, stop. They need to stop.
Even when I am walking alone, what do they want me to do? Get naked for them?
I don't think I dress like a whore. Whatever.
Marching band is almost over. Last year on this day, I had the privilege to see Muse at Nassau Coliseum and they were so awesome that they blew out the sound system, then proceeded to begin where they left off, in the middle of the "New Born" solo.
Until then...Tracy and I are trying to work out February break for me to go up to UMass to visit. I still have to talk to my parents about it, but I'm going to try and see if they'll say yes really early just so I can get a ticket for cheap.
It would be an awesome February break, I'm just saying.
I've got to get my hair presentable for marching band. Becky says she's putting my hair in pig tails now. This is going to be interesting.
"Dark Fantasy" by Kanye West: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0Xai7ffhvM
"Daylight" by Matt and Kim: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgBeu3FVi60
and because this K-Pop kick still won't go away:
"Gee" by Girls' Generation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7mPqycQ0tQ
I think I'm still defrosting from last night's competition in Mineola. I know it wasn't a smart idea to wear shorts, but I just don't like feeling constrained at all. Jeans underneath the suspenders is really the weirdest and worst feeling ever. Another weird thing about me is that even though I insist on wearing tight clothing, I hate feeling trapped. I need to feel like I can escape whenever my instinct tells me to. (Apparently it's a very Gemini thing to always have the ability to move away whenever possible).
Hence why the car my cousin is passing down to me is going to be wonderful. I say a lot of stupid shit when I'm pressed and furious (because honestly, there's no middle ground between slight irritation and fury for me) and being able to escape is going to be really nice to have. Walking's cool, but I really can't stand the attention I drag when I do go walking.
Like, I was walking home with Michael from 7th Street because I had to go learn where everything in his house was for Rocky. We were on my block and right before Clinton, a chain of cars drove past and they honked and they slowed and it's just really fucking annoying. They usually won't do that if I'm with someone - or a guy for that matter - but, stop. They need to stop.
Even when I am walking alone, what do they want me to do? Get naked for them?
I don't think I dress like a whore. Whatever.
Marching band is almost over. Last year on this day, I had the privilege to see Muse at Nassau Coliseum and they were so awesome that they blew out the sound system, then proceeded to begin where they left off, in the middle of the "New Born" solo.
Until then...Tracy and I are trying to work out February break for me to go up to UMass to visit. I still have to talk to my parents about it, but I'm going to try and see if they'll say yes really early just so I can get a ticket for cheap.
It would be an awesome February break, I'm just saying.
I've got to get my hair presentable for marching band. Becky says she's putting my hair in pig tails now. This is going to be interesting.
"Dark Fantasy" by Kanye West: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0Xai7ffhvM
"Daylight" by Matt and Kim: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgBeu3FVi60
and because this K-Pop kick still won't go away:
"Gee" by Girls' Generation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7mPqycQ0tQ
Friday, October 14, 2011
and.
I spent one of the dollars Drew gave me.
I kind of regretted it when I handed it to her, but then I didn't. It was strange.
Moving on.
I'm also dropping honours chem. Funny how things turn out, don't they?
I kind of regretted it when I handed it to her, but then I didn't. It was strange.
Moving on.
I'm also dropping honours chem. Funny how things turn out, don't they?
you're so vicious, baby.
Some food for thought.
As strange as it sounds (due to my past musical attitude the past three years), rap music saved, not my life, but my outlook upon life. Indie music proves to be much too sentimental and it's just heartbreaking. I don't want that anymore.
Besides, a lot of indie music that is coming out now is just so generic and cut and paste. There's nothing that really stands out to me anymore. They're trying too hard to be weird. They're trying too hard to put obscure things into their lyrics.
The only artist that piqued my interest recently was Ed Sheeran and I strongly suggest going out and buying or downloading his album, +.
Another thing:
As a female in this day and age, I find it incredibly important to be much more successful than a male due to the fact that society will continue to hinder me because of my gender.
Gender equality my ass.
As strange as it sounds (due to my past musical attitude the past three years), rap music saved, not my life, but my outlook upon life. Indie music proves to be much too sentimental and it's just heartbreaking. I don't want that anymore.
Besides, a lot of indie music that is coming out now is just so generic and cut and paste. There's nothing that really stands out to me anymore. They're trying too hard to be weird. They're trying too hard to put obscure things into their lyrics.
The only artist that piqued my interest recently was Ed Sheeran and I strongly suggest going out and buying or downloading his album, +.
Another thing:
As a female in this day and age, I find it incredibly important to be much more successful than a male due to the fact that society will continue to hinder me because of my gender.
Gender equality my ass.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
SYNTHHHHHHH
I just really want to go partying one day. Like, really wasted, obnoxious music partying. When I say one day, I mean like, this year. A typical high school party. I haven't gone to one and I'm already a junior (although, past me would be so horribly disappointed).
It's just an aspect of life and although I don't have to, the experience would be enough to either tell me not to do that or teach me how to control myself in that kind of ambient.
It's only fun when you go with friends. My friends are against it and I'll respect that. The whole other point is actually getting invited to one of these places. It probably won't happen unless I really put myself out there socially.
To be honest, I know I'm changing. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm leaving behind a chapter in my life because I can almost feel it releasing me. I feel freer in a sense because doors are opening to me and I have several paths to choose from. I don't know what to do and I don't know what's going to happen when I get to the next segment.
I wish life was as easy as adjectives. What I mean by that is an adjective has a set meaning and leaves things very organized (green grass, green beans, green house etc) and therefore it is easy to put things into catagories because they have something similar between them. I like to think in black and white because it just keeps me kind of under control. My Spanish teacher explained it with teaching. She said that they teach us to think in black and white and then at a certain level, they incorporate other things and venture into the "grey".
I am perfectly okay with the grey, but not entirely grey. I used to think of myself as one of the blacks or whites, but it occurred to me the other day that I'm nearly drowning in the grey because I don't feel like I really belong anywhere. This isn't really a whole realization of OH MY GOD, I'LL NEVER BE ACCEPTED SOCIALLY ANYMORE BECAUSE I'M JUST SDKJFLSJDFLKSDF. No, I'm just trying to find the adjective I could use to describe myself.
It's like an identity crisis, but it's not at all.
I'm actually thinking of going out for the soccer team next year. I know I've said that a million times before, but there's just something so romantic about victory with the wind blowing in your face. All red faced and proud because of how hard you played for the win. Granted, it's like marching band, but pit just doesn't do that. I want to throw a fucking shoulder and I want to get the high of scoring again. There's really nothing like it.
I get frustrated at marching band when I see the soccer teams playing. I'd rather be there than here.
I want to see if I can get away with playing dirty still. My shoulder under the arm is a Caroline Classic. Booyah.
"Grade 8" by Ed Sheeran (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMV3a9e0-eU).
It's just an aspect of life and although I don't have to, the experience would be enough to either tell me not to do that or teach me how to control myself in that kind of ambient.
It's only fun when you go with friends. My friends are against it and I'll respect that. The whole other point is actually getting invited to one of these places. It probably won't happen unless I really put myself out there socially.
To be honest, I know I'm changing. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm leaving behind a chapter in my life because I can almost feel it releasing me. I feel freer in a sense because doors are opening to me and I have several paths to choose from. I don't know what to do and I don't know what's going to happen when I get to the next segment.
I wish life was as easy as adjectives. What I mean by that is an adjective has a set meaning and leaves things very organized (green grass, green beans, green house etc) and therefore it is easy to put things into catagories because they have something similar between them. I like to think in black and white because it just keeps me kind of under control. My Spanish teacher explained it with teaching. She said that they teach us to think in black and white and then at a certain level, they incorporate other things and venture into the "grey".
I am perfectly okay with the grey, but not entirely grey. I used to think of myself as one of the blacks or whites, but it occurred to me the other day that I'm nearly drowning in the grey because I don't feel like I really belong anywhere. This isn't really a whole realization of OH MY GOD, I'LL NEVER BE ACCEPTED SOCIALLY ANYMORE BECAUSE I'M JUST SDKJFLSJDFLKSDF. No, I'm just trying to find the adjective I could use to describe myself.
It's like an identity crisis, but it's not at all.
I'm actually thinking of going out for the soccer team next year. I know I've said that a million times before, but there's just something so romantic about victory with the wind blowing in your face. All red faced and proud because of how hard you played for the win. Granted, it's like marching band, but pit just doesn't do that. I want to throw a fucking shoulder and I want to get the high of scoring again. There's really nothing like it.
I get frustrated at marching band when I see the soccer teams playing. I'd rather be there than here.
I want to see if I can get away with playing dirty still. My shoulder under the arm is a Caroline Classic. Booyah.
"Grade 8" by Ed Sheeran (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMV3a9e0-eU).
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
picking up dishes, throwing them at you.
Why are you speaking when no one asked you?
I love Nicki Minaj too much. I'd love to see her in concert, but then I remember that she's a mainstream artist with Top 100 hits, therefore, her tickets are going to be more expensive than any obscure indie band show I could go to.
It would be worth it.
I decided I'm going to stay with Chemistry Honours, but I'm most likely going to drop Spanish Honours. I can't handle all of these classes. I only have one regular class - that's math, which really isn't much of a surprise. I lost the Asian math computation gene.
I feel a lot more regret walking into Spanish than I do chemistry - the only good part about Spanish is that I have friends in there (Michael, Janelle and Tiffany) and I mean, they're there to help me. But I know I haven't learned any of this, but it's just so stressing.
I decided I'd love to go the University of Chicago. That's my goal this year. Why am I suddenly cracking down? Drew already got accepted to a school in Missouri (LOLOLOLOLOL) for basketball. I looked up the average and the GPA to get in is 3.42. I know that's not really a good number to go by, but his average is an 86. Mine was a 94 last year. To get into Chicago, I have to have a 92.40 average and 2140 SAT (which, probably won't happen, but...I'll try).
The average is very doable. Essentially I threw NYU out the window at this point.
Another bonus to going to school in Chicago is LOLLAPALOOZA!
He said he wasn't going to Missouri, welp. Have fun in fucking nowhere, bitchhhhhhhhhh.
But then again, Illinois really isn't New York. I mean, just look at the names. We have Illinois and then we have NEW YORK. It's right there in plain daylight. FUCK I LOVE NEW YORK.
I went out driving with my dad today. We went to where I learned how to walk (allegedly) and where I learned how to ride my bike. It's really only appropriate that we go there. My dad came home with a rental car, a black Ford Escape. I'm not so much an anxious driver anymore. I guess it's because I've done it before and I had more space. My braking got so much better. I didn't mistake the brake for acceleration and vice versa.
I have to work on turning with the crossing hands thing. I do it sometimes, but clearly sometimes isn't good enough (it never is).
I have some math to finish up, so until I next update. I'll leave you with a strange mix of songs.
"Right Thru Me" by Nicki Minaj (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FJO6b8GL3M&feature=relmfu).
"1979" by The Smashing Pumpkins (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aeETEoNfOg&ob=av2e).
"You Make Me Feel" by Cobra Starship (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BJNC2yWw6I)
I actually didn't download that last one, but it's that fucking "la la la la la..." thing that's so freaking catchy.
I like pop music. Whatever.
I love Nicki Minaj too much. I'd love to see her in concert, but then I remember that she's a mainstream artist with Top 100 hits, therefore, her tickets are going to be more expensive than any obscure indie band show I could go to.
It would be worth it.
I decided I'm going to stay with Chemistry Honours, but I'm most likely going to drop Spanish Honours. I can't handle all of these classes. I only have one regular class - that's math, which really isn't much of a surprise. I lost the Asian math computation gene.
I feel a lot more regret walking into Spanish than I do chemistry - the only good part about Spanish is that I have friends in there (Michael, Janelle and Tiffany) and I mean, they're there to help me. But I know I haven't learned any of this, but it's just so stressing.
I decided I'd love to go the University of Chicago. That's my goal this year. Why am I suddenly cracking down? Drew already got accepted to a school in Missouri (LOLOLOLOLOL) for basketball. I looked up the average and the GPA to get in is 3.42. I know that's not really a good number to go by, but his average is an 86. Mine was a 94 last year. To get into Chicago, I have to have a 92.40 average and 2140 SAT (which, probably won't happen, but...I'll try).
The average is very doable. Essentially I threw NYU out the window at this point.
Another bonus to going to school in Chicago is LOLLAPALOOZA!
He said he wasn't going to Missouri, welp. Have fun in fucking nowhere, bitchhhhhhhhhh.
But then again, Illinois really isn't New York. I mean, just look at the names. We have Illinois and then we have NEW YORK. It's right there in plain daylight. FUCK I LOVE NEW YORK.
I went out driving with my dad today. We went to where I learned how to walk (allegedly) and where I learned how to ride my bike. It's really only appropriate that we go there. My dad came home with a rental car, a black Ford Escape. I'm not so much an anxious driver anymore. I guess it's because I've done it before and I had more space. My braking got so much better. I didn't mistake the brake for acceleration and vice versa.
I have to work on turning with the crossing hands thing. I do it sometimes, but clearly sometimes isn't good enough (it never is).
I have some math to finish up, so until I next update. I'll leave you with a strange mix of songs.
"Right Thru Me" by Nicki Minaj (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FJO6b8GL3M&feature=relmfu).
"1979" by The Smashing Pumpkins (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aeETEoNfOg&ob=av2e).
"You Make Me Feel" by Cobra Starship (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BJNC2yWw6I)
I actually didn't download that last one, but it's that fucking "la la la la la..." thing that's so freaking catchy.
I like pop music. Whatever.
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