I want to make it known to myself. I keep telling myself that my OCD is under control, but, I know it's not. I'm not even sure if I have OCD to begin with. It's easier to give it a name than to fight with a nameless and shapeless being.
My OCD, if triggered many times in a short period of time (two hours to four hours), it causes me to act out violently. I've been able to keep it under control most of the time until this year. This isn't going to be some pity blog, but, since I can't openly deal with it now because I have several things to worry about, I take it out on myself. I don't bruise that easily, so, it's not bad. I know I can stop. This winter break is going to fix everything, I know it.
My first ever AP exam is in three months. I'm starting to get overly anxious. I've been doing my review sheets for exams to the best of my ability so that when APs come around, I won't be a wreck. I've been dreading it since I walked through the doors the first day of sophmore year. None of my close friends are in AP World, so, I can't really study with them. I don't think anyone is going to want to study with me.
I just got back from the mall and I realized how much of a mall rat I am. I actually love going to the mall with Ali and Michael. I love going with Tracy and Jenna. It's just during the Christmas time...messes me all up. My legs are really sore and I am never going to the mall for over six hours again. It's just a bad idea.
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