put a wetsuit on.

I believe I am happy. I can fully enjoy life, knowing that it has all these wonders for me to enjoy. I understand that there will be ups and downs, but again, that's life. You trek through and you enjoy the fruits of your labour.

You meet some oddballs, you handle them. You press on, like a good soldier.

When I get down, I always tell myself that good soldiers always march on. I want to be a good soldier, so I hold my head up high and work hard. Other people say I don't work hard at all, but work to the point where I physically sicken myself. (Physics? I studied to the point where looking at the review packet made me ill. I only got one question wrong on the part one).

I'm a pessimistic though, as a safety net. I'd love to think that the world is entirely good, but it's not. It's not even a matter of turning on the news, it's an understanding of reality. Pessimism is viewing the world as it actually is (some say depression, I say pessimism).

The leaves in the fall are red, yellows and purples, yet they will die like everyone else will. The blue in the sky brightens the colours in our eyes, but it too, fades into a black. The stars never really light up the sky like they do in the movies. They only fade.

The universe is pulling apart as we speak.

the expectations can be great.

Don't blow up at me for not disclosing how I feel.

No one has asked me how I've felt about anything in the past five years, nor do they let me talk without some snide comment.

This is why I never unfold myself.

This is why no one reads my writing, knows my favourite songs or knows my dreams.

I just keep losing.