over my dead body.

I beat Mass Effect 3, so in total, I beat Mass Effect in the total of two months. I had a little freak out on tumblr, but if whoever reading this has played the series, they will understand. I didn't hate the ending. I was afraid that I would have, but I was pretty shocked, but I enjoyed it. I'm not a fan of the hero dying, but I think the green ending is what would have happened, should I be in Commander Shepard's position.

I was really upset at the fact that Kaidan and Shepard wouldn't grow old together. Though, as a whole, I was happy he was with Joker and EDI as partially synthetic. It made me really happy that Joker could finally walk without being overly cautious and that he and EDI got together. Joker deserved to be happy, more than anyone.

My head canon says that Shepard survives and is located in some hospital offworld and Kaidan is waiting for her to recover and they're going to go back to Earth. He wants to show her Vancouver and everything she never experienced because she's a Spacer. I like to think of Kaidan as her rock, anchor etc. He keeps her down to earth and they both remind each other that they're both human at the end of the day.

Mostly because I believe that a lot of the fandom forgets that Shepard is indeed human. I realized it throughout each game, but it became all that more real after the Thessia mission. The way she suffered...I felt it too, almost.

I cried so much during the end of it. During the romance scene between Shepard and Kaidan, I lost it. Especially when he said, "I've always loved you. Through all these years, through...through everything. I'm the luckiest man alive.". There was just something in his voice that made me crack.

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7G0B214GexQ)

I wanted her to live, I really did. I tried everything to get that, but I failed. It made for a better ending. I can't bring myself to play it again, yet. Maybe multiplayer tomorrow, but you know. When they did the flash of Anderson and Hackett at the end, I cried. When they flashed Kaidan smiling and just broke down and cried.

I needed to sort out my feelings desperately. I was very emotionally volatile today.

The orchestra concert is later tonight. My last one. There's really no sadness with it.

My FemShep/Kaidan's song is the beginning of "Over My Dead Body" by Drake. The title is ironic, but you know.

How I'm feeling,
it doesn't matter.
'Cause you know I'm okay.
Instead, I ask myself, "Why do you worry?"
When you know, I'm the same.
I know, I know, you love me baby.
They're trying to take you away from me.
Only over my dead body.

(When Kaidan said, "You're real enough for me." Guess who lost it again).

I'm really happy with that ending; it's confusing. I'll get out of the shock next time I talk to Peter. Hopefully Friday or Saturday.

Commander Adaphea Rhey Shepard-Alenko, out.
--

I've been feeling really happy recently. There's something refreshing about it. As it should be.

I understand the constant necessity of more and being more, but some people need to sit down and relax. Take life as it is coming towards you. You'll get what you want soon. (My Great Gatsby paper is really taking a toll on my life).

I mean, you'll go full blast towards the future and find yourself even more lost. Elderly, too.

"Feel So Close" by Calvin Harris is my favourite song right now. They played it at Aquaprom and I have no idea why it stuck with me so vividly.

I wish Liz would give me Dragon Age back.

Saturday night live.

It's nice to be asked if it's okay to do , as opposed to lips crashing down on mine surrounded by blonde stubble.

Even if it's just an arm.

My ear piercing hole is irritated now. Worth it. Now back to snl.

I'll do a more in depth report tomorrow, only because I'm still tired from last night. We got back at 2:45 and I was home at about three in the morning.

without you, i'm a child and so wherever you go, i will follow.

Back from the APUSH AP. Go figure. It was actually a lot easier than I had originally expected. O'Hagan was right. We knew a lot more than what we gave ourselves credit for. I only struggled with three multiple choice and the DBQ, which was kind of understandable. I didn't really know the Post-Civil War era, but I did my best. That's all I can say.

The free response that I chose was the French and Indian War and then I chose the 1920s one. I knew both of them so well, so I was psyched. After the exam, Tiffany, Janelle, Samantha, Claudia and I went to town to get lunch. Michael was going to come, but we had to wait for Sam and Janelle, so he couldn't. He's going to Jersey today.

I'm still kind of full and worried that I won't fit into the dress because I'm bloated now. I still have like an hour to digest, otherwise I'm screwed. The tailoring was good, but if I turn a certain way, I feel like I'm wearing a corset. I really love my dress. Tonight is going to be so much fun!

I've been pondering my attitude to people I don't like. Liz says it's brash and I know it is. But if I don't like you, I'd rather not entertain you about it. I'll make it short and sweet, which I think everyone should do. You shouldn't be held in limbo.

As I finish my green tea, I kind of have to piss.

My birthday is in two weeks. I'm going to be seventeen. Three years from being twenty. It's so weird thinking about it. I hope I get Mass Effect 3 Collector's Edition and the lace blazer.

I need to look nice when I go to the concert with Eric.

And I need to see and hear Kaidan Alenko. I'm pathetic like that. I've been trying to avoid spoilers, but it's nearly impossible.

I think I'm doing pretty well for the situation I am in. I'm going to buy myself the Elite sweatshirt so I can feel like Commander Shepard. It helps me get through particularly bad days, as pathetic as it sounds. I walked onto the court when I played Syosset with that whole, "I am Commander Shepard and I can take on the Universe" and I started my winning streak.

We're conference champs, second year in a row. I won it for the team. We beat Lawrence and it was beautiful.

On that note, my bladder can't hold anymore.

wash me away.

All on the same night.

ERIC CONFIRMED FOR FOSTER THE PEOPLE.

YO TENGO AMIGOS.

And prom is this Friday!

Beat Syosset and Valley Stream Central.

GET

ON

MY

LEVEL.

I don't know why my computer keeps freezing up.

I just want to play some Skyrim.

My Orc needs to find her people, not aimlessly venture through caves, ruins and dragon graves slaying bandits and draugr.

That's all I've been doing for the past couple of days.