I want so much to open your eyes, but I need you to look into mine.

I don't particularly believe that blogging is a form of escapism. A place to be yourself or anything. I find it as an outlet, someplace where I can simply rant about how horrible my day went, or how he ignored me, or even how great something went today. 


I am nothing more than an angsty teen, begging for release from my high school's bonds. Upon my knees, I beg for something or someone to tell me that it will all be lifted off my shoulders. Put your pen to the paper and write. 


So, I did.


Let's face it. I go to school with a scowl upon my face. My eyes hang low and my brow furrows on instinct. Why? I need to protect myself from those around me. I may love them and care for them with all my heart, but, regardless of how you feel about it, they simply won't care. That's what hurts the most. I have not been turned away by friendship to make me feel this way. Shall I explain more through a quote?

Love is like oxygen. Love is a many splendorous thing, love lifts us up to where we belong, all you need is love! - Christian, Moulin Rouge!

I wish I could believe in something so simple, but, it is impossible. To have your heartbroken by many and to come to realization that they will never know, nor will they care, is not a pleasant thing to carry upon your back. To know that you act more like a guy than your best male friend is never comforting either. 


My name is Caroline, fifteen, and a want to be writer. 


This is a diary, shielded from those I know. A place where I can come to and blog until I'm crying. Powerful writing or just the stripping of time? 


I find myself very self-sufficient, the part of me that I hate the most. Yet, I want to be protected by a male. 


In short, I am a hopeless romantic who gets worked up over the smallest things. 


People you will hear about in this diary very often are my best friends Ali, Tracy, Jenna and Michael. Love interests, otherwise known as crushes past and present involve: Michael, Chad/Jesse and Rob. People whom I despise include people such as Natalie and Liz. Oh, the list will continue to grow and thrive, unfortunately.


I have a general dislike for the human race. I cannot find myself to trust them unless they are truly pure, great human beings.  I must have Holden Caulfield Syndrome or something.