Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I made an excuse, you found a new way to tell the truth.

I am not being a bitchy female because of hormonal reasons. I am literally filled with rage. I do not want to talk to anybody. I just want to go find some random guy on the street and punch him in the face, get a couple battle scars.


No, actually, I just need to take out my physical violence on somebody I despise. I know this isn't a healthy way of thinking, but, I can't help it.


I wanted to go to Michael and Ali's band recital, but, I can't. I planned on doing this for weeks, but, YAPP says nay. I generally wouldn't be this mad, and I'm not really sure why I'm mad. On top of all this crap that is driving me crazy like Holden Caulfield, it makes me want to cry. I am one pathetic human being.


Part of me wants to believe that this stress is coming from midterms week just around the corner. Part of me blames this on Rob. Part of me blames it on my intolerant personality. 


The past two days I came home, went downstairs into this very room I am typing this in and played 'Blackout' by Muse. I crawled onto the couch with that unicorn pillow pet which I so adore and sobbed into it. I don't know why I hate everyone and everything so much. This is so awfully sudden.


I don't deal well under stress and pressure, I know this for a fact. If there is something I want to do, if I don't do it, I'll be horribly upset for weeks to come. 


I feel like I've returned to my seventh grade self. That's a horrible thing.


I wish I had the desire to do my thirty day challenge. I don't want to do that anymore.

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