i never knew i was a techno fan.

There actually feels like there's a gaping hole in my heart right now.

My chest actually feels empty. It's really weird, creepy and unsettling. (Creepy and unsettling are like the same words, aren't they?). I'm still on the verge of tears, even though I said I wasn't going to cry anymore.

Chances are that Drew's lying to me about his phone or he isn't. When he does talk to me, I don't feel like I have any reason to talk to him or anything - important stuff, that is. But then I do realize, that I have to and there isn't getting around it.

I'm just going to flat out ask if there's truly anything going on between us. This shit is just ridiculous and I want closure.

If he truly loved me or anything, which was probably just his dick talking, he wouldn't leave me hanging so much.

I'm willing to go full-out long distance if he is. But my brain says 95% chance he doesn't want to.

11/11/11 update.

He got back together with his first girlfriend. He didn't tell me. I found out through my cousin Kathleen through his younger sister, Katie.

I cried and rendered myself unable to cry anymore.

He contacted me Sunday night and it was nice to talk to him. But...you know.