don't try to save yourself, the circle is complete.

I'll have to sit on a story idea until it bakes long enough to find the words to be expressed. I was inspired by "Hold Your Colour" by Pendulum (find it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtD1IpH5a5Q). I wish it wasn't so hard to convey, because I truly like this one. I say this about all of my story ideas...and then they just hit the bottom, never to be seen again. I don't know how I call myself a writer if I can't write a story.

I don't like the idea of being just a poet. I find it lazy and not achieving much. Poems are easy to express because when I do write poems, I write them in the heat of the moment. Of course, I do go back to edit things, but it's pure emotion. I want to be a storyteller. I want to be able to whip up a story no matter where I am and be able to entertain the masses.

Band camp is tomorrow. I remember I went to do marching band mainly because of Rob. Now that I have Drew, I don't want to go anymore.

I mean, for the sole fact that I can punch Rob, that's the only incentive.

My parents said I couldn't fly out to Ohio because they think that this is just a summer fling. I know it's a very real possibility, but I don't want to doom my relationship before it takes off. We talked for about an hour and a half tonight.

It does bother me that I can't be physically with him, just through a screen. I want to cuddle with him, that's all. It's actually wonderful that he respects my boundaries - it kind of gives me a different idea about "jocks". He's not really one, I don't think so.

I don't know. I really like kissing now.

He's really all I can think about right now. I feel so needy, pathetic. He always smelled really good. I know he only sprayed his chest with cologne. I keep smelling it everywhere. Like when I went to go call him in my room, I caught a whiff. It's random.

I remember it being really hard to hold his hand because he's so tall. Drew carried me home from Aury Island.    I just want to go back to Florida next year because he said he'll be going back again.

If he does come to New York spring break, it'll be wonderful.