I know for a fact that if it weren't for my friends keeping me in check, I'd be the sluttiest girl in the school. I'm just throwing that out there. I'd also be the girl who was neck deep in alcohol and various other illegal substances. I am grateful.
I'm fighting sleep and I'm also fighting my sub conscience. Quite frankly, I don't know why anyone talks to me or wants to hang out with me anyway. They don't all at the same time. I am ever so worthless and disposable. I'm trying to find reason to my person, but I can't. I work so tirelessly to search for approval from others and yet I can't find approval from myself because I'm working hard to please others. I never knew I did this until recently.
I don't want to fall back into the hole of no personality. People are starting to notice me, I guess (See: Andy, Rob).
All I want to do is punch the wall. I'm angry but I'm content. It's either be a polar opposite and face the consequences or wither away and become nothing.
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