studio laughter.

I'm glad Tracy's supportive of the whole idea, which makes me feel so much better. I don't know. Jenna was like, "So, Caroline, are you into Portuguese guys now?" and literally I sent a message to Tracy telling her about how I needed to go out with a Spanish/South American/Portuguese guy just to get it out of my system.

Dammit Santiago. (Every time I say his name, I have to say it with the Spanish accent). Sahnteeyaaahgo. I professed my love for him as he got on the bus back to Cornell. "Santiago, te quiero por eternidad!". Valentina nearly pissed herself and Jensen was just used to my odd behaviours, so she laughed.

But the problem is, we're going out on Sunday. This Sunday. Which, is totally cool, it works out really nicely. But the anticipation is killing me. I wake up with butterflies, go to sleep with butterflies, walk around with butterflies, eat with butterflies, etc etc. I'm literally so nervous, so happy, so excited, but I have no one to express this to. Why am I so nervous? I went to prom with him and hung out with him with Michael a couple of weeks ago.

As I'm writing this, my stomach is doing flips and turns.

He wants to take me to a cafe for lunch and then we're going to walk around Greenwich Village, looking at bookstores and record shops. Essentially the perfect date, in my terms. Tracy says it's romantic and it is, but I'm still like "WHAT DO WITH BOY".

Like do I hold his hand or whatever? WHAT DO I DO I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

The time between today and until Sunday is decent, let me reiterate it. BUT I'M GETTING SO WORKED UP AND ugh.

Michael reminded me that he's going to college soon and long distance is hard. Trust me, I know. But I'm going to assume that Ian is a better guy than Drew and won't cheat on me...then not have the balls to even properly end it with me.

I won't lie, I was crushing on Ian a little bit after prom and whatever. I chose not to say anything about it just because it's just weird, you know? Like, the only people I only tell anything to are Tracy and Jenna. Now, the new crush just happens to be their cousin? I can't tell them that.

It's not like I act on my feelings anyway. I just kind of sit there and wait for things to happen and they usually never do.

I suppose this circumstance is different.

What happened was that I was at Grandma's house, waiting for her famous soup (the beans for the soup are impossible to find now, but she ordered in like cases of them when she found them. I love her so much). I was sitting on the couch, watching the Minority Report with my dad. I checked my phone around 4:02 and saw that I had a missed call.

Regardless, I never really answer my phone to begin with unless it's my mom. I'm solely a texter. I check my notifications and I see that it's Ian calling me. So I send him a message that I can't talk because I'm at my Grandma's and he asks if he can call later, he needs to ask me something.

So, I say yes, but then go into a panic. I hate it when people are like, "I need to ask you something/need to talk to you.". It just makes me so nervous.

I spend the next two hours with a case of restless leg syndrome and a mouthful of soup. (When I say this soup is good, I mean it's good).

I figured I'd be there for another hour and I had told him that I could talk around 5-5:30, assuming that I might be home by then. I was in the car when he called me.

My car is always obscenely, stupidly loud. So I pick up and he simply asks, "Caroline, will you go on a date with me?"

And of course, I said yes. Shocked, happy, other emotions. I don't think he believed me when I said yes, but I could kind of hear him smiling through the phone, if that makes sense. It probably doesn't.

Cue my father and sister mocking me. Have the same birthday, act exactly the same.

I could barely contain my excitement. But now I sit in a mess of butterflies and nervousness.

Now, I wait for Sunday in a fit of anticipation. I really hope my family doesn't go around telling my family again. Next thing I'll know, my Aunt Janet will be trailing behind me and Uncle Joel will be down the street.

Love my Italians.