I sit here in fear of nothing. Does nothing mean the unknown or just simply nothing? They always say that ignorance is bliss. But, who is 'they' anyway?
I turn sixteen in four days. Two years until my high school career is almost over. Truthfully, I am so grateful. I don't want to grow up, so, in essence, I have very conflicting views. I know for a fact that when I leave for college, my OCD will fade away. I can promise this to myself and to many other people. I wish it didn't have be cured in such an abrupt way. Whatever that can make me stop being a germaphobe with OCD tendencies after three, four years, is welcomed.
I'm not playing my bass, Patrick Dennis Harold Monaters, in marching band. I'm playing the stupid glockenspiel. Does anyone ever realize what I fucking do to find love? I don't even want to do this. I'm doing this for fucking you, Rob.
Together, alone, we have great conversations. At least I think so. I know I'm only hurting myself; Ali tells me this quite a lot. But, I just want him. I want no one else. It seems that everyone else is jumping into relationships and I've been left behind in the dust.
I guess I'm just overtired, stressed and hungry.
feel safe.
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