I'm sitting at my father's computer desk watching the Graham Norton Show with Matt Smith on it. I'm an avid Doctor Who fan, so, you could call me a Whovian. David Tennant was my first Doctor and I have yet to see what people see in Christopher Eccleston. I think that's how you spell his last name. It's close enough.
I should also mention that I'm snacking on hot apple cider and saltine crackers. I try.
I also should mention that British people are great, and I really hope I'll be able to move to London. That'll be the adventure of a lifetime.
Today, I tried to go through my first party that contained alcohol. That was a really boring experience, even with my friends. Natalie doesn't know how to throw a party, it's awfully clear. I don't drink, and all there was to do was to drink or play beer pong (Which, I suppose, it could fall under the same category, no?). Ali, Liz and I left after what I think was an hour. We went to Michael's straight after which is always a better idea than Natalie's house.
Day 29: Goals for the next 30 days.
- Prepare enough for the midterms.
- Improve my AP grade.
- Get my iPod fixed.
- Get new headphones.
- Finish Brave New World.
I don't understand how I am closer with my father, yet, I argue with him the most.
Be shocked or something. I'm not listening to music at this very second. I am slowly enjoying my hot chai and preparing for bed, so, I'm going to write a little anecdote about this pair of shoes that were once mine.
I had this pair of shoes, simple flats that were silver. They weren't like a plain grey with no dimension to them, they were metallic and a legitimate silver. I don't really like flats, but, I kind of had an attraction to them because they weren't so serious, but formal enough to wear out when I had to dress all fancy like. I had them only for a year and I didn't really get that much use out of them.
My Ma Ma died on April 25th, 2007. I found out when I got home from school and I cried incredibly hard. It was my first experience with death and quite frankly, my sixth grade year old mind didn't know how to handle something like that. As my mother explains it, "It's a strange thing because one day they're here and then the next they're not.".
Her funeral was a formal thing, I suppose. I was forced to wear the silver flats to it and I spent most of my time staring at them. It was an open casket, and I couldn't bring myself to look up. She was my caregiver for the first three years of my life and although she could hardly speak English, I've never felt so attached to someone in my life. I managed not to cry throughout the whole service until my dad told me to say my last goodbyes. Then, I lost it.
My Ye Ye died nearly a week later. I had to wear the shoes again.
After the two funeral services, I wasn't able to wear those shoes again. They sat in my closet and collected dust. I couldn't look at them without becoming incredibly sad. If asked to wear them again, I fight against it. I can't wear them ever. Not only because they no longer fit me anymore, but, just wearing them makes me depressed. I miss them more than anything.
My mother has passed them down to my sister. They were sitting by our piano and it prompted me to write this story.
I don't want her to throw them out, but, I know she will. She will because my sister will eventually grow out of them. More than likely, they will be passed on to my cousin Katie and then her cousin Jennifer. Then, they will be thrown out. I can't let that happen.
Day 28: Something that you miss:
Being mentally sane and not having to worry about everything. I can't wait until college.
I will forever associate Jack Peñate with good times and perfection. His music reminds me of just relaxing and not being entirely engulfed by the stresses of real life. Hence why I listened to him an awful lot when my family and I went down to Florida for two weeks.
Day 27: A problem you've had:
It's been a problem I've had since high school began, and it's pleasing my father. He never seems happy with what I'm doing, and I want to be able to prove to him that I'm not just a piece of trash that he is obligated to call his daughter.
I can't get over how great this remix is. I can't wait until I get to see Interpol at Radio City Music Hall in February. The seventeenth to be exact. I might cry if they play 'Stella Was A Diver And She Was Always Down', and by 'might', I mean, WILL!
Enthusiasm, yes.
Nothing is really going to be happening in these next few days. Don't expect many updates.
My family and I just finished watching the movie Up. I have never cried so hard and so many times during a movie. Remind me later not to watch any Pixar movies with my family. I need to cry in peace.
I figured a list of what I received for Christmas is in order.
- UNDERWEAR!!!!!!!!!!!! from Aerie. They're all boyshorts. You know how I do.
- Jeans
- World of Warcraft
- Red hoodie from American Apparel.
- A BITCHIN BASS AND AN AMP.
- Gum.
- Salts from Sabon.
- Ocean scented bar soap Sabon.
- Nail polish.
- Player Piano by Kurt Vonnegut and Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman.
- Notebooks.
- Pens.
- Turn on the Bright Lights by Interpol.
Day 25: Somebody who fascinates you and why.
This fascination isn't in the positive light, let me begin with that. She is in my English class and in my art class. I just feel like I see her all the time. She fascinates me because I want to know why people just like her when she is a complete bitch and asshole to everyone she meets. I don't understand how guys like her either. (Personally, I'm starting to think it's because she's loose or something). She turns on you the moment you're gone. Why would you want to be friends with that?
Day 26: What Kind of Person Attracts You.
The person can't be a complete dick to me. Likes the same music as me, but, I will make exceptions. Will put up with my intense gaming. They just have to be all around a nice person. My main priority is that you don't make fun of me for playing on my school's badminton team.
Fucking love badminton.
Christmas Eve, to me, is always the longest day. I just want it to be Christmas, so I apologize. This entry will be short because I'm off to bed soon.
I went to my Aunt Janet's and Uncle William's tonight which I always really like doing. I get to see a bunch of my family and just chill out. I never have to be too outgoing with my cousins, and they don't mind. I'm just really comfortable there as opposed to another house of my relatives. There, I tried to nap but I had their dog, Moose, lick my face. I woke up. I ended up watching Casino Royale. Very Christmasy. Although, every time I do watch it, I always make a mental note to myself about how blue Daniel Craig's eyes are. The bluest of the blue.
I got two presents, so far. Two pairs of jeans and a black peacoat. Guaranteed, I wear them tomorrow.
The funny thing about tonight was that my Dad and I ended up wearing pretty much exactly the same thing. It wasn't planned. I told him to change, but he wouldn't. Joking, of course. I actually don't care at all if somebody wears the same thing as I do. I don't know why people get worked up about it.
Day 24: Your favourite movie and what it's about.
Spirited Away. What can I even say about Spirited Away? I love all the characters and the whole storyline. It's about a girl enters another world of magic and mystical beasts and spirits after her parents are turned into pigs. The whole movie is about her trying to get her parents back to human form, and during the process of, she grows up quite a bit. She works hard for what she wants and lessens the dependency she needs on other people (Including not whining as much).
Sleepy time now. Goodnight, all. :)
